After the huge response to my article on how top riders combat fear, I discovered from the feedback of readers that there was more to the subject than I realised. It was great to see that I was not alone in feeling relief that even the best in the world face this difficulty and I am now aware that the fear of being caught out as being afraid is almost as stifling as the fear itself. I can see both sides of this equation.
Growing up my sister was always more cautious than I and I felt that she was a wimp and couldn't imagine what she was afraid of. Having recently felt the impact of a fall from my young stallion, I felt the full truth of her anxiety from my butt right up my back! Of course I got straight back on and rode off with a brave face. It wasn't until the next day that I had to face the ridicule. Ridiculous isn't it, that in our sport there are people that can't understand fear, because they have never felt it.
I rode proudly into the arena wearing my new Uvex helmet and was laughed at followed by an "are you scared now?" Aside from the fact I had promised my mother to ride in the helmet everyday, I found that not only did I feel safer and I sparkled a little (diamante version), but I was just as comfortable physically as I was without it. I chose to ignore said comment and rode off determined to get back the trust and freedom I have when I'm with my horse. It was not easy, but day by day we began to work together again, and I got back that sense of calm and focus, until finally we were working so much in sync with each other that I no longer felt at all fearful that he would react outside our training bubble.
Facing the Fear, A Case Study
South African dressage rider Kim Stipinvich was particularly touched by the first fear article and wrote in with her own experience. She too was facing the embarrassment of admitting she was afraid to someone who, like me when I was young, simply couldn't understand her lack of confidence.
"My fiance is a professional horse rider, the fearless variety, explaining a panic attack to him is pretty much a futile exercise. He turns on the pressure and ridicules the whole sports psychology perspective saying a person should "deal with it". Super," Kim confessed.
Kim's personal struggle highlighted some very interesting points, that it is not only the fear that is difficult to combat, but also the fear of admitting it to others and then trying to determine what it is that makes us afraid. "I, myself am quite a fearful rider and suffer the kind of fear or as Sarah's interviewee refers to it, "cocktail of hormones" whereby you feel terribly uncoordinated. This results in me feeling like I have jelly legs and I have to try and focus before my horse, a 7-year old retired-from-the-track TB, picks up on it. He does the "take advantage and get dangerous" thing," she explained.
My Lusitano Batialo is the same and the minute he feels that I am distracted, he decides it's time to play! Kim says the hardest part about fear is admitting it and facing the challenges associated with fear, and also identifying the different types of fear related to dressage. "I admit my fear since its the only way I can deal with it. I have to do the exact thing that scares me every day because it scares me! However, my fear is not so much being physically scared (of course one does consider getting hurt), and whilst my fear gets highly tweaked by performance anxiety (fear to succeed), the main contributor is the fear of being out of control," said Stipinvich.
This made me wonder about the different types and levels of fear involved in our sport and while some riders may cope well with performance anxiety, they may suffer anxiety in other aspects of riding. I don't get panicked before a test and for some reason since I was a tiny tot in pony club, I could hoon around at home right up until the day before and amaze everyone by how focused I was for the ten minutes of test time. However, my sister took a fall from a warmblood and broke a small bone in her back, but I do remember that once upon a time she was just as keen, if not keener, than me about dressage. I guess a scare like that can be a life changing moment, and while some like Kim choose to tackle the fear and go on, others struggle to return to the saddle with the same calm they once had.
"I can fully justify my cause of fear based on my circumstances," said Kim. "I ride alone in a less-than-optimim arena outside of our property of which the gate is permanently open and leads onto a road. Not a busy road but a road where people drive like maniacs. A while ago we were forced to use an entrance to the property a few metres from the one we usually used, my gelding who isn't actually a spooky ride (he is more intimidating) was quite good considering. The problem arose when cars would drive too fast past us and did not even give us an inch of space. It's not fun trying to sit a scared horse who practically wipes you off on the lamp posts purely for fear and it is a rational fear and it's a fear I have to face yet in the long run I know that I will benefit from it."
While Kim and many others are aware of their fear, the practical solutions do not always work and sometimes the only way to overcome fear is to find that connection with the horse, the calm in the partnership, where you and he can both feel safe. "The practical solutions don't work for me. Herbal calming pills make me neurotic. Breathing exercises get lost on me since I used to be a vocalist in a band. Trust me, nothing annoys me more than having a person on the sidelines telling me to "breathe". The only thing that actually works is stone-cold focus. I cannot remember where I read it but a nugget of information I keep close rings along the lines of "if you are experiencing fear then your focus is not on your horse but on your surroundings." Ironically ginkgo biloba, a concentration aid, helps me keep a level head."
The second main contributor to Kim's fear is being "alone," highlighting the role of support systems and finding the right trainer. "It took me a while to put my finger on it but I had to realise that one of my biggest issues relating to my fear was the intense feeling of me-against-the-world. When I picked this up I had to make a few decisions; like, for example, choosing a new instructor, one who is competitive herself and whose discretion I trust. You see, I like working with a plan. I like being organised and in control and having back-ups lined up "just in case". I find it frustrating to not be able to work full out and that in itself ties in with incapacitating fear - the self-deprecating emotions that just break your confidence even further."
The Sport Psychologists Joins In the Discussion
With a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, specializing in Sport Psychology, Seana Adamson stressed that the fear felt by equestrian athletes can be either physical or mental. "Physical fear is the fear of physical injury, and mental fear if the fear of performing badly, also known as performance anxiety. Both types of fear have a very similar effect on the body," said Adamson.
The reason why Kim and I agree that our horse picks up on our fear is because of all the things that change in our way of riding as a result of fear, without us even realising it. "Fear stimulus causes a number of hormones and neurotransmitters to flood the body’s muscles and nerves in order to prepare for danger. This hormonal cocktail has a powerful physical effect on motor skills and subtle coordination and can cause a rider’s aids to become over exaggerated and uncoordinated. This can affect every moment of communication with the horse. Whether it is over aiding for a flying change, or spooking at something before your horse does, it can be a real and measurable impact on performance. Instead of holding a clear, positive image of the desired result, a fearful rider is distracted and often focused on what they are afraid of, rather than what they want. On top of this, suddenly their body feels like it’s not working right! It is common for a fearful rider to feel tight, stiff, and incredibly weak, all at the same time! For the horse, this makes the rider’s communication much muddier and more difficult to decipher. "
In terms of practical methods, Seana suggests any type of relaxation, meditation, or contemplative practice is a good thing, but that the first thing to do is to make sure you remember how to relax at home! "It’s amazing, in our fast paced world, how rarely we take even a few moments to check in with our body and mind and create a moment of stillness. Even a few minutes of conscious relaxation and mental stillness (3-5 min daily) can be a powerful tool to remind your nervous system how to relax."
In the end, fear can only win if we try to hide it and brave riders like Kim, who admit to their fear and get to the root of the problem, and deal with it, are the riders who overcome it! "Make sure you take a good look at why you are afraid. Are you lacking an important skill, for instance do you need a deeper seat, or a more secure leg? Is your horse misbehaving because it is lacking something in its basic training? Fear often stems from being over challenged for your skill set. And rightly so. At these times it is important to listen to your fear and adjust your behavior. If you have the skills you need, then use your skills to give your horse positive messages. Form a very clear image of the feeling you want from your horse, and then imagine a word that describes that feeling to you. The word may be “relaxed”, or “powerful”, or “light”, or whatever word you choose. Repeat this word to yourself as a way of keeping your mind focused on that positive image."
Again it also comes down to Olympian Laura Bechstolsheimer's advice that "riders who are scared should consider whether they have the right horse for them and if so, they need to find exercises that build confidence and partnership, such as some ground work." Also find a trainer you can trust.
"Some horses are dangerous! Some horses should not be trusted, just like some people," said Seana. "But other times mistakes are honest and isolated. In this case trust can be rebuilt. It usually takes some time. You need to build a number of positive experiences on top of each other. Trust comes back slowly and incrementally, but in the end it can still lead to a strong and enjoyable relationship. It is tremendously helpful to have a competent, compassionate professional to help guide your path. Research has shown that horses do pick up on increased anxiety in their rider or handler. A good professional can give you and your horse a sense of confidence, while you work on improving your skills.
Certain that every rider can let go of their past fear and find enjoyment again, Seana knows this may take some hard work and dedication, but you can do it. Wondering why some riders like Kim's fiance never suffer from fear and can't begin to understand Kim's struggle, Seana says everyone is different. We are all a slightly different combination of genetics and environment. Your response to fear probably has as much to do with your hard wiring - your genetics - as it does with any past learning or traumatic experiences. So if you are suffering from fear, be it because of nature or nurture, first is to admit your fear, forget the prejudice, ignore those who criticise or condemn, then find a way to work through it, and the horse that is willing to share the journey with you.
"In the end, fear does not stand alone and in dealing with it, and learning to live with it and harnessing it, it takes an introspective view and sometimes some harsh criticism. Following my little plan has helped my confidence but sometimes it's two-steps-forward-one-step-back and I have to realise that that in itself is ok," said Kim. "It's a process. Somedays I feel great, other days I feel wanting. Some days I want to cry and give it all up and then other days, just that one perfect moment in the saddle makes it all worth it. Fortunately, articles like this make me realise that even the stars at the top had to make plans to get over their individual hurdles, that everyone has their own crutch and that being a success depends on you making a change."
by Sarah Warne for Eurodressage
Related Link
Classical Training: Letting Go of the Fear