I have talked much about a loss of confidence; something that many of us face and can be very difficult to confront, admit, and overcome. However, another thing that many riders can feel is not so much a confidence loss in terms of fear of falling off or getting hurt, but more a general lack of confidence in their riding ability.
Typically I find there are three types of riders. The arrogant rider that thinks s/he is amazing, but in reality is not. Unfortunately I've seen a lot of those. Then there are the maybe 2% of riders who are justifiably confident and then there are the rest of us, who are quite typically perfectionists, who spend day in and day out trying to get it perfect, but feel quite less than worthy.
I have said before that success for me is becoming a rider worthy of my horse. However, there are many times when I feel like that dream is an illusion and I am quite simply a useless, hopeless rider. Thoughts come into my head like “If I was…”, or “If I could just…", or “If I'd spent more time in the past doing…” and I can spend many hours condemning myself into a tiny ball of, “just not good enough”.
In my opinion there is only one thing more unproductive than regret, and that is self-pity. If you get on your horse feeling a lack of confidence in yourself, and in your riding ability, why on earth should the horse listen to you? And more importantly, why should he be confident, why should he trust you, if you don’t have confidence or trust in yourself?
My horse knows when I’m feeling like this. He trots out and pretty much does whatever he wants, and I’m too busy moping about on top of him to actually do anything about it.
There is a reason why many of the top riders are very outspoken and confident in person. It’s because they believe in themselves and have the ability to pick themselves up and get back on that horse, time and time again, physically and metaphorically speaking. Yet another fine line of dressage is being humble enough to admit your weaknesses, but proud and confident enough in yourself, and in your ability, to learn and grow.
So much of our sport is mental. Far more than we even realise. So not only do your “self pity moments of useless reflection” affect your own health, they also affect the relationship with your horse.
Next time you are having a bad, week, month, year, and your confidence is completely down, remember it is your journey, it’s your life, and success can be what you make it. Be confident in yourself, know that you are giving it everything you’ve got, and don’t be too hard on yourself. We can be perfectionists, and we can work hard, but we also have to remember the true reason why we do this: We love it!
by Sarah Warne