After three months off I was very anxious to start riding again. It was a strange mix of desperately wanting to get back on my horse, combined with fear and anxiety over the pain that I would most likely feel, and my confidence (or lack there of) which had taken a another nose dive.
Adding to this was the fact that a puddle lunge arena had made a pre-lunge impossible, I was, I will admit, very nervous!
The physio has confirmed that I have a chronic tendonitis at the insertion into my pubic bone, an area that is the insert point of a range of different muscles. When I told him I was starting back riding his only question was “on the same horse?” His face was saying, “are you mad” but of course for me it’s not actually a question.
Batialo spins. I deal with it. Nobody is perfect, not even my own horse.I had to be confident, but as I’ve said before there is a huge gap between being confident and smart, and being confident and stupid.
I began with just 20 minutes, riding Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday off, riding Thursday and Friday, weekend off. Some people start with four days on three days off, but if you think about it that allows your body to get stiff again and out of routine over the three days, so that each new start is like starting allover again.
By Wednesday I was glad for the break, but honestly I was so happy. For me riding isn’t just something I love, it’s my sanity, and without it I pretty much fall apart. It’s my escape, my quiet time, and after spending three months without that me time, I felt like I needed a holiday from myself.
Batialo was incredible. If ever there was a moment when I really knew my horse likes me riding him, it would be now. I talked to him (yes out loud) and asked him to be good. He listened.
It’s been three weeks now and it’s not easy. Everyday presents a new pain and just when I think the pain is bad I wake up and it’s much worse and I wish I hadn’t complained when I thought it was bad yesterday. Like when you have a blocked nose and you remember how great it was when you could breathe.
I do physio once a week and I do exercises every morning before riding to warm-up the area in the short term and strengthen the area in the long term. Pilates has helped me a lot, but it doesn't have to be pilates. I just happened to find a great instructor, who is a born surfer and understands that he "just needs to surf". You might know a great yoga instructor, or core trainer, or another form of balance and stability exercise that just clicks for you. I stretch after riding, I swim very slowly and walk in water, I eat a strict diet based on anti-inflammatory foods. I take Tumeric daily. I use Traumeel Creme to ease the pain, it’s homeopathic and it does really work for me.
I am quite often nervous going out to ride, when the pain is worse or there is a howling wind, but during and afterwards, I’m so much happier There was one day when Batialo stopped in the pouring rain and I didn’t have the strength the get him forward and I was frustrated and upset with myself. So I took him into the stable and I waited there for 5 minutes while I had a good cry. Then I stopped and asked myself something that my mum often asks me. “How much do I want to do this?” The answer is always the same, “it’s the single only thing I want to do, I love it, and this is the horse I love to do it on.”
And I went straight back out with that mindset, trotted off and within minutes I was feeling amazingly proud of myself, and my horse. It may sound “airy fairy”, but sometimes you just have to be that much more certain about what you want, than the fear that makes you question it. Once you can be that, then nothing can stop you.
by Sarah Warne
Related Links
Classical Training: Pilates Recovery - The Highs and Lows of Dressage
Classical Training: We Are All Crazy - The Highs and Lows of Dressage